We Slept on a Mattress and Box Spring for 8 Years Because We Couldn’t Agree on a Bed

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. If you purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Yes, I Said Eight Years

If you read the first post in my Me & BigDog / Boho Dream Home series, I told you it took BigDog and me eight years to agree on a bed.

I wasn’t exaggerating.

For eight years, we slept on a perfectly good mattress and box spring without an actual bed frame.

Not because we couldn’t buy one.

Not because we forgot.

Because neither one of us was willing to spend good money on a piece of furniture one of us couldn’t stand.

Welcome to mixing boho and traditional bedroom decor, where one person loves light, airy, boho style and the other thinks furniture should look substantial enough to survive the next hundred years.

And before you ask, yes, Luna has opinions too.

Nobody asked her.

BigDog Had a Very Specific Bed in Mind

BigDog wanted a poster bed.

And not some delicate little thing with skinny posts.

He wanted a BED.

Big wood. Tall posts. Traditional. Substantial. The kind of bed that walks into the bedroom before you do.

It fits him.

BigDog grew up on a dairy farm in Minnesota, and his taste tends to lean toward things that feel solid and permanent. He likes real wood. He likes furniture with some weight behind it.

There was just one little problem.

I didn’t want that bed.

At all.

And I Didn’t Want the Bedroom Swallowed by Furniture

My decorating style is completely different.

I like a room to breathe.

Give me natural textures, lighter woods, metal, plants, interesting pieces and a little boho mixed in. I don’t mind substantial furniture, but I don’t want to walk into a room and feel like the furniture is closing in on me.

A huge poster bed with a king mattress?

Nope.

I knew that if we bought the bed BigDog wanted, every morning I’d open my eyes and think:

I still don’t like this damn bed.

And when you’re talking about a piece of furniture that can cost hundreds—or thousands—of dollars, that’s an expensive thing to resent.

So We Did Something You’re Not Supposed to Do

We waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Our mattress and box spring worked just fine.

Was it Pinterest worthy?

Absolutely not.

Did anybody die because we didn’t have a beautiful bed frame?

Also no.

I think there’s something worth saying about that because we’re constantly shown houses that look finished.

Move in.

Decorate.

Buy the furniture.

Finish the room.

Take the picture.

Next room.

But that’s not how our house has worked.

Our house has never been finished.

I don’t think it ever will be.

We change things. We move things. I experiment. BigDog finds something he likes. I decide something isn’t working anymore. We live with blank spaces until we figure out what belongs there.

And sometimes we sleep on a mattress and box spring for eight years.

Neither One of Us Needed to Win

Looking back, I think this is where BigDog and I finally figured out something important about decorating our house together.

The goal wasn’t for me to convince him that boho was better.

And the goal wasn’t for him to convince me that traditional furniture was better.

We needed to find the place where our styles overlapped.

Remember what I said in the first post?

We both like wood.

We both like metal.

That’s where we started finding common ground.

Instead of looking at beds and asking, Is this his style or mine?, the question became:

Could we both live with this?

Better yet:

Could we both actually like this?

There is a difference.

Then We Finally Found Our Bed

After eight years, it happened.

We found a bed that didn’t feel like BigDog had won.

It didn’t feel like I’d won either.

Instead, it felt like ours.

Somehow, it had enough substance for him and enough openness for me. And it worked with the things he naturally gravitates toward while still giving me room to bring in the textures, bedding and personality that make a bedroom feel like home to me.

Eight years of disagreeing, and there it was.

A bed.

Who knew two grown adults could make furniture this complicated?

Apparently we can.

The Bed Was Only the Beginning

Here’s the funny part about finally buying the bed.

The bedroom still wasn’t finished.

It still isn’t.

Because that’s not how I decorate.

I’m always noticing something. Moving something. Trying something different. Finding a better way to use a corner or deciding that something I’ve looked at for three years suddenly needs to go.

BigDog is a little more…

If it’s working, why are we touching it?

That’s probably the nicest way I can say that.

And somewhere in the middle of those two approaches is our bedroom.

Buy the Piece You Both Want to Live With

There is a practical side to this story too.

Furniture—especially bedroom furniture—isn’t cheap.

A quality king bed, mattress, nightstands, dresser and everything else that goes into a bedroom can become a serious investment.

That’s one reason I’m glad we waited.

I’d rather live without something for a while than buy the wrong thing just because I think a room is supposed to be “finished.”

If you’re shopping for a bed yourself, I’d pay attention to more than whether it looks pretty in the product photo.

Think about:

• Scale. A gorgeous bed can overwhelm a smaller bedroom.
• Materials. Wood and metal were our common ground.
• Height. Especially with a thick mattress and box spring, check how high that finished bed will actually be.
• Storage and clearance. Can you clean underneath it? Can Luna disappear under there with something she’s not supposed to have?
• Your existing furniture. You don’t necessarily need a matching bedroom set.
• Both people sleeping in it. If you share the room, you’re both going to look at that bed every day.

And if you’re choosing between buying something you don’t really love and waiting?

I’m Team Wait.

Clearly.

Maybe not eight years.

But wait.

Our Bedroom Looks Like Us Now

That’s ultimately what I wanted.

Not a boho showroom.

Not BigDog’s Minnesota farmhouse transplanted into Arizona.

Us.

There are pieces of him in the room and pieces of me.

That’s what I’m discovering as I tell these stories about our home. The things I like most aren’t necessarily the things I would have chosen if I lived alone.

They’re the things that somehow tell both of our stories.

And yes, occasionally that requires an eight-year negotiation.

Okay, But What Did We Finally Buy?

After eight years of sleeping on a mattress and box spring because neither one of us could agree on a bed, we finally found one we both liked.

Yes. Eight years, baby.

So naturally, the bed gets top billing here.

🛏️ Our Bed

If I can give you one piece of advice after this little adventure, it’s this: don’t buy a major piece of furniture just because you’re tired of looking. We waited until we found something that felt like both of us.

And once the bed finally arrived, I could start doing what I do best—making the room feel a little cozier.

If your interested the this look, here are a few pieces you may like.

Make Your Bedroom a Little Cozier

You don’t need to redo an entire bedroom to change how it feels. Sometimes it’s the layers, textures and little finishing touches that make the biggest difference.

🛏️ A Lightweight Quilt or Bedspread

Our dark furniture is pretty substantial, so I like keeping the bedding softer and more neutral. A gray or neutral quilt gives you that cozy layered look without competing with everything else in the room.

🤎 Textured Pillow Covers

This is probably one of the easiest and least expensive ways to change a bedroom. Mix a couple of regular pillows and add something liked a textured pillow cover or even a round accent pillow.

🧶 A Cozy Throw Blanket

Give me a throw blanket and I’m going to put it somewhere. On the bed. On the chair. Over the sofa.

They’re an easy way to bring texture into a room without changing the furniture.

💡 Bedside Lamps

Our matching lamps help soften all that dark furniture and give us much nicer light at night than using the overhead light.

🪟 Curtain Panels

The blue-gray curtains were an easy way to bring a little color into the room while still keeping everything calm enough for both of us.

🌸 Floral Wall Art

The floral artwork above the bed is probably the most “Gigi” part of this side of the room. It’s soft, has a little color and keeps all that dark wood from taking over.

And Then There’s Luna…

There is one bedroom accessory I can’t give you an Amazon link for.

Luna.

She’s not currently available on Amazon, and even if she were, she’s definitely not Prime eligible.

But apparently every room in this house belongs to her anyway.

Coming Next: The Motorcycle Wall

The bedroom isn’t the only place where BigDog and I couldn’t agree.

There was also a wall in our living room.

I wanted one thing.

He wanted something else.

So naturally, nothing happened for a while.

Then we realized there was one part of our lives that belonged to both of us:

motorcycles.

BigDog was a rider.

I was a rider too—or at least I tried very hard to be one.

Then I broke my ankle, broke my jaw and chipped my femur.

We’ll talk about that.

Because somehow that chapter of our life ended up helping us figure out what belonged on our living-room wall.

And that is pretty much how decorating works around here.

Gigi has an opinion. BigDog has an opinion. Luna supervises. Eventually, something gets done.

Welcome to our home.

It’s still not finished.