Redesigning Yourself After 60 — On Purpose
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Redesigning yourself after 60 is not something anyone asks your permission for. Change just shows up — not the good kind, not the bad kind, not the kind that arrives on a random Tuesday and rearranges your whole life. But here’s the thing I’ve been chewing on all week — there’s one kind of change you actually get a vote on. And most of us never use it.
I had written previously about a CBS Sunday Morning piece called “The Science of Redesigning Your Personality.” that BigDog and I were watching.
And as I was watching it something about that title made me stop and really pay attention.
Redesigning your personality. On purpose. Like really…
I’ve talked a lot on this blog about reinventing your life after retirement — new hobbies, new routines, new ways to make a little money on your own terms. But this was different. This wasn’t about redoing the guest room. This was about redoing you. And once that idea got in my head, it would not leave.
My Story
I spent seven years as an office manager at a funeral home. Seven years of scheduling, processing paperwork that carried bad news, holding it together for families who couldn’t, and doing it all in sensible shoes. In fact, that job asked a very specific version of me to show up every single day — calm, composed, buttoned-up.
Then in 2022, I retired. And nobody warns you about this part: when the job goes, the “you” that job required goes a little quiet too.
So I did what a lot of us do. I waited for change to happen to me. I figured I’d wake up one day feeling like a “retired lady” the way I used to wake up feeling like an “office manager.”
Spoiler: that day never came. In the end, nothing shifted until I stopped waiting and started deciding. That’s when I decided that i would have to make the shift. Not because retirement handed me a new identity, but because I sat down and built one.
In many ways, watching that CBS clip that morning put words to something I lived through without realizing it. Real change — the kind that sticks — has to be intentional. Nobody redesigns their personality by accident.
What the Science Actually Says About Changing Who You Are
For years, a lot of people — myself included, if I’m honest — believed personality was basically fixed by a certain age. You are who you are, full stop, might as well get used to it.
But the research the CBS piece pointed to says something more hopeful: personality traits can shift, at any age, when the change is intentional rather than accidental. Not overnight. Not by wishing. But through consistent, deliberate effort aimed at a trait you actually want to build — more openness, more calm, more confidence to speak up in a room.
Why This Matters More After 60
Here’s why I think this lands differently for us than it does for a 30-year-old reading the same article. Indeed, by this age, most of us have a well-worn identity. We know our “type.” We’ve been called the responsible one, the quiet one, the one who holds everything together. Those labels get comfortable, even when they’ve stopped fitting.
Finding out — at 68 — that I still get a say in who I become? That’s not a small thing. That’s the whole ballgame.
Why “Waiting to Feel Different” Doesn’t Work
I want to be honest about something I got wrong for a long time after I retired. For years, I kept waiting to feel like a different person before I acted like one. Naturally, I thought confidence would show up first, and the new life would follow.
It’s backwards. Confidence didn’t come before I started to make a change— it came because I started moving, making changes that may have felt uncomfortable, but needed.
Because the fact is:
“Change must be intentional. There must be a shift — and it’s not easy, but in order to become who you want to be, the change has to happen.”
That’s basically what stuck with me from that CBS segment, and it’s become something close to a personal motto around here.
The Difference Between Change That Happens To You and Change You Choose
Let’s separate these two, because I think we blend them together and it messes with our heads.
Change that happens to you looks like:
- Retirement showing up whether you’re emotionally ready or not
- Your body doing something new and inconvenient
- A friend group shifting, a spouse’s schedule changing, a diagnosis, a move
Change you choose looks like:
- Deciding to learn something that scares you a little (affiliate marketing, blogging and AI)
- Practicing curiosity instead of certainty, on purpose, even when it’s uncomfortable
- Building a new routine that reflects who you’re becoming, not who you used to be
The first kind is going to happen no matter what we do. The second kind is the one worth our attention, because it’s the one where we actually hold the pen.
Small, Intentional Shifts: Redesigning Yourself After 60
You don’t need a five-year plan to redesign a piece of yourself. You need small, repeatable choices. Here’s where I’d start if you’re standing where I was standing back in 2022.
1. Pick One Trait, Not Ten
Trying to overhaul your whole personality at once is how you end up overhauling nothing. Pick one thing. For me it was “brave enough to be seen doing something new, badly, in public.” That was it. One trait.
2. Attach It to Something You Already Do
New habits stick better bolted onto old ones. I paired “practice being brave” with my morning coffee — five minutes of working on the blog or a video idea before my brain had time to talk me out of it.
3. Expect the Discomfort, Don’t Fight It
Nobody tells you that intentional change feels a little bit like wearing someone else’s shoes for the first few weeks. That’s not a sign you’re doing it wrong. That’s a sign you’re actually doing it.
4. Track It Somewhere You Can See It
I keep a plain little journal by my chair. Nothing fancy. Some nights it’s one line: “Said yes to the thing that scared me.” Some nights it’s three paragraphs. Either way, seeing it on paper makes the change feel real instead of imagined.
A simple guided journal made for this exact kind of daily reflection has genuinely helped me stay consistent — you can browse guided reflection journals on Amazon.
Tools That Help You Sit With the Discomfort of Change
I’m not going to pretend a product makes personal growth happen — it doesn’t. But the right tools can make the practice of change a little easier to stick with, especially in that first shaky month.
- A dedicated reflection journal with daily prompts for tracking the one trait you’re working on
- A simple desk notepad for goal tracking to keep your one intentional shift visible every day
- A comfortable reading chair cushion for the quiet ten minutes you carve out to think, which honestly matters more than people give it credit for
| Tool | Best For | Why I Like It |
|---|---|---|
| Guided reflection journal | Naming the one trait you want to shift | Keeps the change specific instead of vague |
| Goal-tracking notepad | Daily visibility | Out of sight, out of mind — this fixes that |
| Reading chair cushion | Making quiet time comfortable enough to actually happen | You’ll skip the habit if the spot isn’t inviting |
What I’m Choosing to Redesign Right Now
Since we’re being unfiltered here, I’ll tell you what I’m working on this season: patience with myself while I’m still learning. Affiliate Marketing, figuring out AI tools I never touched during my funeral home years — none of it comes naturally yet, and the old me, the buttoned-up office manager, wanted everything done right the first time.
The new me — the one I’m building on purpose — is practicing being a beginner out loud. It’s humbling. Some days it’s downright uncomfortable. But it’s mine. I chose it. And that’s the whole point.
Final Thoughts
Change is coming for all of us whether we invite it or not. Retirement, bodies, seasons of life — none of that waits for our permission. But who you become in the middle of all that change? That part still belongs to you, at 60, at 68, at 80. The science backs it up, and honestly, my own life backs it up too.
You don’t need a full personality overhaul by Friday. You need one trait, one small daily habit, and the willingness to feel a little awkward while it settles in.
Call to Action
If there’s one part of yourself you’ve been meaning to redesign — quietly, on purpose, no announcement necessary — tell me about it in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know what you’re building. And if this stirred something up in you the way that CBS clip stirred something up in me, share it with a friend who’s standing at the same crossroads.
CBS Sunday Morning –
A new you: The science of redesigning your personality
