What We Drink on the Patio With BigDog — And Why It’s My Favorite Part of the Day

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There is a specific time of day in Arizona when the world shifts.

It happens somewhere around 7pm in the summer — maybe 6 in the fall. The sun stops being aggressive and starts being beautiful. The heat doesn’t disappear exactly, but it softens. And if you’re lucky enough to have a patio and someone worth sitting on it with, that’s exactly where you’ll find us.

Me and BigDog. Every single evening.

No phones. No TV. No agenda. Just two drinks, one cigar if he’s in the mood, and whatever conversation happens to wander in.

This is my favorite part of the day — and I want to tell you exactly what we’re drinking and why it works.

Why Patio Rituals Matter More Than You Think

I didn’t grow up with a patio ritual. I kind of stumbled into this one somewhere in my fifties, and I am genuinely annoyed it took me that long.

There is something almost medicinal about having a designated time where you just stop. Not scroll. Not plan. Not catch up. Just sit. Watch the sky do its thing. Let the conversation go wherever it wants without anyone steering it.

BigDog and I have had some of the best conversations of our marriage on that patio. We’ve also had some of the most comfortable silences. Both are allowed. Both are good.

The drinks are part of it — not because we need them, but because they give you something to hold. Something that says: this is a different kind of time. It’s ritualistic in the best possible way.

What BigDog Is Drinking

BigDog is not a complicated man when it comes to his drink of choice. He knows what he likes and he orders it without apology, which I find unreasonably attractive.

Most evenings it’s a black cup of coffee. He drinks it slowly, on the patio at 7pm like a man who answers to nobody and sleeps like a baby regardless. I have never fully understood this quality in him and I have fully accepted it.

Some evenings it’s Baileys Irish Cream — over ice, slowly, while he watches the sky change colors like he has nowhere else to be. Which he doesn’t. Which is the whole point.

The scotch evenings are my favorites. He gets quiet and contemplative in the best way, and the conversations we have on those nights are the ones I remember.

What I’m Drinking — It Depends on My Mood

I rotate. I’m not ashamed of this.

My current go-to is a tequila soda — just tequila, sparkling water, and a squeeze of lime. It’s simple and refreshing and feels like the right drink for an Arizona evening. I’m a little late in life discovering how much I like tequila and I’m not sure why it took me so long.

Then there are the whiskey nights — those happen when BigDog is drinking scotch and I want something in the same spirit. We sit there like two people who have figured something out, which maybe we have.

Occasionally I’ll try something new. I like a good mezcal. I’ve been known to have a margarita if the mood calls for it. I don’t hold myself to rules about what I’m supposed to drink — and neither should you.

What Makes It the Best Part of the Day

It’s not really about the drinks. I think you already knew that.

It’s about having a ritual that belongs to just you — or just the two of you. A time when the day is officially over and you get to be a person instead of a task list.

It’s about sitting somewhere that feels intentional. Our patio isn’t fancy. We’ve worked on it slowly — a comfortable chair here, a string of lights there. It doesn’t have to be a magazine spread. It just has to feel like a place you actually want to be.

BigDog and I are not people who talk about feelings constantly. But we talk on the patio. Something about being outside, watching the light change, holding a drink — it loosens things up. We’ve talked about the kids. About regrets. About what we want the next chapter to look like. About nothing at all.

All of it counts. All of it is the point.

What We Use on the Patio (My Actual Recommendations)

Over time we’ve figured out the small things that make the ritual better. None of this is elaborate — but the right tools genuinely do make a difference.

The right glasses. BigDog drinks his scotch from a proper whiskey glass and it genuinely makes a difference. There’s something about holding the right glass that makes you slow down. A good set of rocks glasses is worth every penny.

A big ice cube tray. I’m serious about this. Large ice cubes melt slower and don’t water down your drink. This is one of those small things that makes everything better. A large ice cube tray is a game-changer for any home bar setup.

A good insulated tumbler for cold drinks. Arizona summers are not joking around. If you want your tequila soda to still be cold 20 minutes later, you need an insulated cup. I use an insulated tumbler every single night and cannot recommend it enough.

A cigar cutter and ashtray if that’s your thing. BigDog has his setup and it makes the whole ritual feel intentional. Even if you’re not a cigar person, there’s something to be said for having the right tools for the thing you love. A nice cigar cutter and ashtray set elevates the whole experience.

Comfortable seating. This sounds obvious but I mean it. If your chairs are not comfortable, you will not stay outside long enough for the magic to happen. Invest in the chairs. Comfortable outdoor patio chairs are the single best investment for your backyard ritual.

The right lighting. String lights changed our patio. Once the sun goes down, you need something warm and soft — not bright overhead lighting. Outdoor string lights in warm white create exactly the kind of atmosphere that makes you want to linger.

Come Sit With Us

If you’ve never had a patio ritual, I want to encourage you to start one.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be every night. It just has to be intentional — a time you set aside to actually stop and be somewhere instead of rushing through to the next thing.

Pour whatever you like. Sit somewhere comfortable. Bring someone you love or just bring yourself.

The sky will do the rest.

What’s your go-to patio drink? Tell me in the comments — I’m always looking for something new to try. BigDog is less open to suggestions, but I’ll work on him.